What If
by rivergirl
Summary: What If You Died Today? What would you do to stop it? Would you want to die with the people you love? Well Nicole Curtis is about to find out one of lifes hardest lessons.
1. Slipped Away

My name is Nicole Elizabeth Curtis a freshman in high school, actually I should

be in the eighth grade but they moved me up because they thought it would be

fair to move me up on behalf of that I was just as smart as my older brother Ponyboy.

On April 4, 1965 the morning started out just like it always did, at our house I was sleeping nearly falling off the bed 'Dead To The World' Ponyboy had his head off the mattress and his legs on top of Soda had his legs intertwined in the blankets and his head somehow managed to rest on top of ponyboy's stomach. Darry was busy making the usual breakfast, scrambled eggs, bacon and chocolate cake. He then turned to his 'Other Duties', and began to wake all of us up.

When Darry returned, he had all three of us fallowing his every move. Pony and I were both red in the face from nearly being tickled to death. We all sat down to enjoy a nice quiet breakfast. But I had a question, and I decided to ask it.

"What would you do if I died today?"

Everyone sat in silence. Wondering why I would ask that question and even more, importantly, how to answer it.

"Nikki, come on honey we don't talk about things like that, at the table," Soda reminded me.

"W-Where would I go?" I accidentally wondered out loud

"Nicole! We are not going to tell you again! Now be quiet and eat your breakfast!" Darry scolded me.

Ponyboy, silently gave me a sympathetic look, and answered on behalf of both of our older brothers

"Nikki, we would really miss you, probably wouldn't know what to do but after a while we would be alright, okay, you would go to heaven and spend the rest of your life with mom and dad."

I nodded my head and looked down at my plate before hearing the door slam and probably the most annoying sound in the world.

"MICKEY'S ON!!!!!!!" Two-Bit yelled as he began to jump up and down and do mini laps around the living room.

I was still trying to finish, when dally came in rudely reminding everyone that he and Johnny were not going to school. And having Johnny not going to school meant that Two-bit isn't going to go and two-bit not going to school meant that Ponyboy wasn't going. So technically there was one other person, Steve Randall. As soon as Steve came in the door, he slammed it shut, which gave us our first clue that he was in a bad mood.

"Hey Stevie!" Soda sang.

"Oh, hi Soda, I got in a huge fight with my old man so I'm not going to school today!"

That just crashed my dreams, everyone else could do what they want, when they wanted, but could I? No!

"Nikki, come on baby, ill take you to school when I take Soda and Steve to work" Darry said.

I hopped in the passenger side as they began the drive to my school first.

"Do I have to go? I just have a feeling that something bad is going to happen today! I don't want to be here! Please don't make me go! Please!"

Everyone stood in complete shock at My sudden outburst. Darry had come over to my side of the truck, opened my door and immediately pulled me to him.

"Baby, look at me, I will not let anything happen to you today okay? School is one of the safest places that I know of alright?" Darry asked me as he waited for my answer.

"Please Darry take me home, I don't want to be here! I'll be in my room all day studying and you won't even know that I m there! Please don't leave me!"

By this time Soda and Steve had gotten out of the truck to help Darry with me. But, it wasn't worth it I was scared of something and it was making me not want to go. Finally Soda had about enough, he got down on his knees, so he was level with me and I spilled everything.

"Nikki, baby calm down, for a sec." Soda said as he wiped the tears away with his thumb, and then placed his hands over mine

"Sweet heart what are you so scared about going to school today?"

"I don't want to die!" I wailed, Soda had a bewildered look on his face as he gently placed his hand on my cheek.

"Hey look at me, none of us would allow that to happen you under stand me?" He waited for an answer, and I shook my head yes.

At 1:30 pm, I was just about ready to head out off gym class, when all of a sudden I hear a loud bang, fallowed by a chorus of screams. As I opened the door and slowly peered out, I saw someone with a gun heading towards me so I figured it would be better if I ran for it.

As I rounded the next corner I felt a sharp pain, in my lower leg. But I couldn't stop I had to keep going. When I approached the stairs, I bolted down them like there was no tomorrow, until something caught my eye. There was another gunman, waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. I was paralyzed with fear. As I turned around I noticed that the other gunman, was getting closer and closer. So I risked it and ran pass the gunman and got shot in the chest. I fell only a few feet from the door. I then realized that if I got back on my feet I might risk being shot again. So I remembered something Steve said about army crawling. I crawled on my stomach for only 2 minutes before I noticed a pair of combat boots coming into my view. I was roughly turned around and shot once more, this time they left me there to die.

Ponyboy's POV

I was sitting on the couch watching some cartoons. With Two-bit, who was drinking all most all of our beer and eating everything in our house, Johnny who was secluding himself from the group by sitting in darrys chair, and not saying a word, and last but not least Dally who had probably gone to hunt some action by now.

"God, there is nothing to watch!" I screamed as I accidentially threw the clicker changing the channel on impact.

On tv was a lot of police cars, fire trucks and ambulances, and the news was reporting something big. I changed the channel and it was on every channel. I suddenly grew interested in the program as I watched it.

"Well bill as you can see behind me. Roberts high School has over 2,00 students attending the school, making it one of the largest schools in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I just got word that 12 students are feard dead—"

My mind began to spin, I wondered about the safety of my sister, if she was one of those 12, if she was safe, if she was wounded. I need to know. So I called soda.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"DX, Steve Randall speaking how may I help you?" He said calmly,

"Steve its ponyboy, I need to talk to Soda."

I heard shuffeling noises and then my brothers voice on the other end…

"Hey Pony, you feeling okay?"

"Have you watched the news!" I yelled, how can they be so calm when are baby sister might be dead.

"No, why?"

"There was a shooting at Nikkis high school. 12 students are feared dead, Doda what if she's one of those 12!"

There was silence on the other end, and then he calmly told me stay there and that he would call darry and have him drive them back here.

Nikki POV

I woke up, I ached all over. I turned my heat slightly to the left and found that my once white shirt now had blood seeping from it. The 12 of us had been laid on the grass and attended to until another available ambulance could come. To me, it felt like eternity. I began to wonder if I would ever see my brothers and the gang again, would I go to my senior prom, graduate high school, or even walk down the aisle. I was to weak to even think; I already knew that I probably wasn't going to make it. I wanted someone to hold me, and tell me everything is okay, that this is just a bad dream. But its not.

I was lying on the ground in a pool of my own blood, slipping away from the world that I once called my home.

I felt familiar arms wrap around me, and I shook as the persons body wracked with heavy sobs.

I opened my eyes and saw soda holding me, getting my blood all over him, the gang was surrounding me, I felt at peace. I was happy, I was going to die around the people that I love.

The ambulance finally came for me, 10 minutes later, Darry rode with me in the ambulance whil everyone else rode with steve in his car.

I arrived at the hospital shortly after 2:34. The gang surrounded my bed, crying and telling me stories.

The doctor came in and told them that I had lost over half the blood that I needed to stay alive; he looked at me and only said the words that everyone was fearing.

"She's gonna go, on her own time, I wouldn't expect her to make it the next hour."

"Sweetie, look none of us want you to go, I never got a chance to spend much time with you." He slowly began to cry. " But, baby, we know you're in a lot of pain and we don't want you to be in any more pain okay."

I slowly nodded my head. And said three words. "I Love You."

They began to cry, as my brain and heart monitor went flat. They knew that I was in a place where I didn't feel any pain, and that they would see me once again. Everyone has told me that I was an angel.

Now I really am.

Sodapops POV

I would never have guessed how it felt to lose someone. After losing my parents I swore to myself I would protest everyone. But the one thing I tried to protect my baby sister from, was the one thing that killed her. My sister was like my kid. I helped raise her, I help do everything, and now when some one tells me that I don't know what it feels like to lose a child I can turn to them and say.

"Yes I do, I lost mine when she was 13 and a freshman in H.S. Two kids went on campus with guns and extra ammunition. They Shot 28 people and killed 12 people. She never did anything to anybody, she died in my arms. Her clothes are still on the floor, her room smells like her everything reminds me of her. I watched the only thing that held our family together slip through my fingers, and I couldn't save her.

Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na

I miss you, miss you so bad

I don't forget you, oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same

Ooooh

Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na

I didn't get around to kiss you

Goodbye on the hand

I wish that I could see you again

I know that I can't

Ooooh

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same

Ooooh

I had my wake up

Won't you wake up

I keep asking why

And I can't take it

It wasn't fake it

It happened you passed by

Now you're gone, now you're gone

There you go, there you go

Somewhere I can't bring you back

Now you're gone, now you're gone

There you go, there you go

Somewhere you're not coming back

The day you slipped away was the day I found I won't be the same ( 2)

Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na

I miss you


	2. Who You'd Be Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.

I wear the pain like a heavy coat.

I feel you everywhere I go.

I see your smile, I see your face,

I hear you laughin' in the rain.

I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,

Like the story that had just begun,

But death tore the pages all away.

God knows how I miss you,

All the hell I've been through,

Just knowin' no-one could take your place.

An' sometimes I wonde

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?

Settle down with a family,

I wonder what would you name your babies?

Some days the sky's so blue,

I feel like I can talk to you,

An' I know it might sound drazy.

It ain't fair: you died too young,

Like the story that had just begun,

But death tore the pages all away.

God knows how I miss you,

All the hell I've been through,

Just knowin' no-one could take your place.

An' sometimes I wonder,

Who you'd be today?

Today, today, today.

Today, today, today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.

I wear the pain like a heavy coat.

The only thing that gives me hope,

Is I know I'll see you again some day.

Some day, some day, some day.

Darry POV

The Shooting victims funeral was today. Among those 12 people, there was a future writer, a soon to be NFL player, an aspiring dancer, a future doctor. But none of them would be able to finish their dreams. I had high hopes for my baby sister, that she would graduate high school and move on in the medical field. But she never even got to finish high school.

was always so hard on her, I should of taken the time to listen to her, when she said that she didn't want to go to school. And that bad feeling that she had actually turned out to be true. Out of the 28 people that were shot, my sister was the tenth to be shot, and the 3rd to die. Every day, after I get home from work, I go up to her room and I lay on her bed. Her bed had never been made; her clothes had never been put away. The night she died we left the room the way it was, it was like she is still here with us.

Steves POV

I hate seeing the Curtises like this, they have gone through so much pain ever since their parents died, and now Nicole. I mean don't get me wrong, I never really liked the kid that much, I mean I know she was a girl and a little afraid of the world, but she didn't have to die, no one should ever have to die like that.

I just couldn't believe that earlier that morning, she was perfectly fine, everyone was heading into school and none of us thought anything of it, until soda told me that Nicole may have been injured in a shooting.

When we attend the funerals the victims were each given a 5 minute speech that they did a week before the shooting. Nikki's made all of us want to cry, especially when she started talking about us.

FLASHBACK

"Hi, I'm Nicole Curtis I am a freshman…….Who I admire most, would be my

older brother because he had a football scholarship, a chance to go to college and his whole life ahead of him, and he gave it all up to help raise me and my two older brothers…….. Umm, If I was a hot dog I wouldn't eat me. But if I was a glass of milk I would drink me…….If I was to die today, or anytime…….I would want to be surrounded by my friends and my family…….I guess I would want my death to be fast and not painful……"

PONYBOY POV

I don't think my sister knew how much she meant to us. She was going places just like ponyboy. But she always had this way of making you see her side of the story, before you went and starting yelling at her. She had a way with words when she needed to. She lived for the moment, and took nothing for granted. The night she died I thought that god took her because he needed her more than we did. I thought her sole purpose on earth, was to make people smile when they were down, and to cheer them up when they were lonely. She was one in a million.

I will never get to know who she would be today if she had lived, if she would of turned into a soc, or stayed with us. Sodapop, darry and I all agreed to give her stuff away to charity, because she wouldn't need it. But we kept all of the pictures, and the blood stained clothes that she was wearing, the day of the shooting. As I was cleaning my sisters room I found a note that was hidden under her pillow. I read it over and over.

To Whoever Finds This Note,

I wrote this note when I was in the school field waiting for an ambulance. I told cherry to put it where I knew someone would find it. I knew I wasn't going to make it. But, im in a better place now. Tell Darry, to follow his heart where he goes. And Soda, tell him that a relationship with a girl isn't worth forgetting about your family, love will come again. Tell the gang to keep cool and not to worry about the future. Pony, you're going to go places in life, your gonna get out of Tulsa and your going to go to college and make something of yourself, be better than the crowd. Keep watching the sunsets pony, that's what is so gold about you. Don't lose that. I know that its hard, but trust me its worth the wait. I guess I'll see you again someday,

Love ,

Nicole Curtis

I showed everyone the note and we all cried. We saved the note and never opened it again. The next day, we decided that it would be best if we made nikkis room into a guest room. But we ver really got over how fast she was taken away from us. Darry was telling us, that her heart had stopped 2 times on the way to the hospital, up until the time she died, she only said three words. "I Love You."

We buried my sister next to my parents,her tomb stone said.. "Loving Sister…..Loving Friend….Tragically Taken April 20th 1965…..May you rest in peace"


	3. Stay Gold

Narrarators POV

Life went on for the seven-remaning greasers. Only they finally understood what Nicole meant in the note that she left for the guys, they never really understood it but they treasured it. A few years after the tragedy at Roberts's high School, Ponyboy finally graduated as valedictorian of his class. He dedicated his speech to his sister.

"Friends and Family off the class of 1968. I stand before you today, giving a speech about education and success. But I can't. Three years ago, many of us went to school, just like we did everyday. Expecting to take a pop quiz or get a detention. Well four of my friends and I were lucky enough to not get to go to school that day. But those 12 people including my sister weren't. A girl came up to me the other day and said, that your sister saved our lives. As soon as she heard the gun shot she ran back into class and held the door open for everyone. What I am trying to say is, we were the lucky ones. Those of us who didn't feel like going to school today, who just skipped for the heck of it, or because of the killer hangover that won't go away. Our time will come, maybe today or tomorrow. But I know for certain that when that time comes we will be with them again."

As Ponyboy took his place back in line, the principal began to step forward to the podium.

"Would everyone please join me, as we have one our Choir sing 'Amazing Grace.' Everyone, stood up and faced toward the flag, which was lowered at half mass. They unveiled a memorial wall, which was in the garden and had the students' names that were killed on the wall.

Ponyboy looked around him and saw, that everyone was crying or had a tear in their eye. It takes a tragedy to bring people, who were so full of segregation and diversity together as a community.

A Marine and a Navy Seal Stepped Forward. They were doing roll call, like they do in class.

"Do you have the Victims roll call sheet?"

"Yes"

"I'll just call names out according to the time of death."

"Amanda Lynn Basset------Dead On Arrival

Corey Lee Fletcher-------- 2:16

Nicole Elizabeth Curtis--------- 2:34

Robert Anthony Hall-------- 2:45

Chelsea Maria Wray------- 3:17

Jonathan Michael Lowe------ 3:20

Taylor Savannah Adams----3:35

Tyler Jeffery Morris-------- 3:45

Alana Jessie Smith-----4:10

Adam Shaynne Brooks-----4:16

Noel Lynne Warner----4:20

Andrew Michael Howell-----4:25"

It hadn't even dawned on anyone, how close together they all died.

"Ladies and gentleman, I m sure no one wants to here this but marine Sgt. Morris is going to tell you the cause of deaths."

Everyone waited. "Amanda Basset, -1 single GSW to the stomach-Bleed to death.

Corey Fletcher- 2 GSW's to the leg and chest- bleed to death

Nicole Curtis- 3 GSW, to the leg, chest and neck-Bleed to death

He went on and on. Pony's sisters was the worst though, I mean it is the neck. The only thing he could do was get back up and dedicates a song to them,

"Umm, exceause me I m sorry to interrupt but I would like to dedicate this song to those 12 victims."

Seize ... upon the moment of long ago  
One breath away and there you will be  
So young and carefree again you will see  
That place and time  
So gold  
Still ... away into that way back when**  
**You thought that all would last forever  
But like the weather nothing can ever  
And be in time  
Stay gold  
But can it be ... when we can see  
So vividly a memory  
And yes you say so lost a day  
To fade away  
And leave a red sun  
So gold  
Life ... is but a twinkling of an eye  
Yet filled with sorrow and compassion  
Though not imagined all things that happen  
Will age to old  
Though gold  
Stay gold


	4. Wherever I Journey

My love goes out to all who are hurting, mourning and left lost, God

loves you. This song is for YOU! "Wherever I Journey" words and

You had so much hope You were so full of life And my heart grows

cold When I think about how you died (Pre Chorus) In a world that's

just gone crazy A senseless act has changed The way a generation looks

at life (Chorus) Wherever I journey you'll be there I'll carry you with me

Every moment everywhere I'll cry on the inside Now and then But I'll

still cherish this life And I'll always remember when Forever I'll Love

you and keep you in my heart Wherever I Journey (Verse 2 ) And it

don't make sense And the world can only mourn But I still rejoice For

the day that you were born (Pre Chorus 2) Cause I'm better off for

knowing you Even though your time was short And Heaven must have

needed you much more (Chorus) Wherever I journey you'll be there I'll

carry you with me Every moment everywhere Ill cry on the inside Now

and then But Ill still cherish this life And always remember when

Forever Ill Love you and keep you in my heart Wherever I journey

(vamp) You are loved You are loved You are loved with a perfect love

You're not forgotten You're not forgotten You are loved With a perfect

love (Chorus Fade) Wherever I journey you'll be there I'll carry you

with me Every moment everywhere I'll cry on the inside Now and then

But Ill still cherish this life And always remember when Forever I'll

Love you and keep you in my heart Wherever I journey


	5. Welcome Home

_Nicole POV_

_As I sit here, i look around me, i am not in a hospital bed. I am in heaven, and now i can watch over them. I see them in my old room, holding my pictures and crying and asking themselves why they let me go to school, and blaming themselves. __I silently sit down between Darry and Soda, and i softly whisper into the air _

When I am gone, release me, let me go  
I have so many things to see and do  
You must not tie yourself to me with tears  
Be happy that I have had so many years

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must  
Then let your grief be comforted by trust  
It is only for a while that we must part  
So bless the memoriss in your heart

I will not be far away, for life goes on  
So if you need me, call and I will come  
Though you can not see or touch me, I will be near  
And if you listen with your heart, you will hear  
All of my love around you soft and clear


End file.
